Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Damning Report Finds White House Ignored Skeletal Horsemen Galloping Through Sky As Early As January

Illustration for article titled Damning Report Finds White House Ignored Skeletal Horsemen Galloping Through Sky As Early As January

WASHINGTON—In a very serious and damning new report published Wednesday, a government watchdog group has found that, as early as January, White House officials failed to heed repeated warnings of impending doom that arrived via four skeletal horsemen galloping through the sky. “On Jan. 3, the Trump administration received its first notification that a quartet of ghostly riders had barreled out of the endless night—auguring death, despair, and a great cataclysm upon the earth—but the president did not begin to take the threat seriously until mid-March,” said Douglas Reisenthaler of the nonpartisan Institute for Federal Policy, a co-author of the report compiled from interviews with sources who asked to remain anonymous because they were not authorized to discuss torrents of blood raining from the Oval Office ceiling and flooding the West Wing. “For 10 full weeks, during which the White House could have been using the vast resources at its disposal to prepare for the final battle between good and evil, officials instead chose to downplay the coming apocalypse, minimizing omens such as the sudden rupture of the moon, which unleashed the black, inky trail of crows that continues to circle the Washington Monument. How many countless souls could have been saved from the dark ravages of hell simply by alerting the public that a beast with seven heads and 10 horns had emerged from the sea?” Asked about the report, White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany replied that the ominous sound of seven trumpets was being heard all the time, and no one could have known these were the seven trumpets that would herald the 1,000-year reign of Satan on eart


  1. RN... and yet I ask, what does it matter? At the end of the day, when all is said and done and we've done the post mortem and the myriad number of investigations, you know what we're gonna have? Apart from thousands if dead Americans, nothing.

    Because neither the left or the right will accept any conclusion that does not validate their side, excoriate and vilify the other side.

    Look, anyone objective can look and see that Trump has been less that truthful, slow to act and petty as he's navigated this storm. But the Dems, aided by the media, have overreached, as they always do, on the truth of many of their charges. As an example, Pres Trump never said the virus was a hoax. He never did, as best as I can tell. He did say the reaction to it was a hoax. Quite a difference.

    The media also has pushed their narrative instead of asking simple pointed questions designed to hold the feet of official Washington to the fire.

    Where does all of this leave us? I have no idea, but I'm not bullish on our near term future.

    1. That's why I love The Onion. Truth in humor. You're going to like my post today Dave. I think...

      Be safe... Be Well you and your family.


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