Purveyor of Truth
Following is the day dreamed about in the land of wingnuttery. In this idyllic land of reactionary bliss the hands of time are turned back. Evolution takes a back seat to creationism, Christianity is the religion of the land, Science is trumped by faith and mysticism, the market and corporations are free to run totally unregulated, civil liberties are suspended and troops are rushed to the southern border, healthcare is returned to those most concerned with profits, and the list goes on. A true reactionary rightwing UTOPIA.
January 20, 2017
President Marco Rubio and Vice President Carly Fiorina are sworn into office.
In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.
Newly appointed department of Homeland Security Chief Donald Trump announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American citizen. Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.
Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Ted Cruz eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for ‘Hate Crimes”. She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at ten and discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.
Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.
Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni. And a bacon that that has no fat and tastes even better than bacon today!
Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste just like regular cheese.
A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved. And, believe it or not, though a committee wasn’t formed, the Western world actually understands that doesn’t mean Republicans want dirty air and dirty water, just a better way to solve whatever problems we realistically can and not break the bank.
Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.
ANYONE even suspected of terrorist involvement is on a Search List; once they’re found, they’re immediately put on the Deport List. Their immediately family, parents and wives and children, also go. (this is Z’s own invention!)
Christianity has finally become the faith of most Americans again and nobody thinks it’s a great idea to kick God out of anywhere, including the military; they’ve learned their lesson!
They have found a cure for Autism and a way to keep drugs out of our country!
I receive a call from an attorney in Ireland. He explains that I have inherited a castle and a huge bank account near a coastal village in Ireland from a distant relative and that I need to be in Dublin as soon as possible to sign the papers. Ten hours later I tour our new home and find I also have homes in Munich and the South of France. There is an old Racing Green Porsche roadster in the garage, also part of the inheritance.
And this my friends constitutes THE PERFECT DAY!!!!!!
(I got this from a friend via email yesterday and thought it was fun……tweaked it a lot with my own adjustments/additions)
What would YOU add to it? Let’s try to have fun with this, we all know what you’d want to do about Muslims and Obama…we don’t really need to revisit all of that!