Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Why No Sane Person Will Vote For The Dumpster, In His Own Words...

Rational Nation USA
Purveyor of Truth



The Donald - The latest polls are out, and just as I predicted, I’m leading the Republican presidential race by a wide margin. You might be wondering how that could be. After all, it’s hardly been a month since I entered the field and I’ve already alienated America’s largest immigrant population, seen dozens of my high-profile business deals implode one after the other, and publicly insulted a national hero’s military service, all while not offering a single viable policy idea. But none of that matters at all, and my candidacy continues to surge forward, because none of you—not a single one of you—can look away. Not even for a second.

Admit it: You people want to see just how far this goes, don’t you?

My campaign’s just barely begun and I’ve already got you begging for more. Sure, you can say you oppose me or that you don’t even take me seriously. But let me ask you: How many articles have you read about Ted Cruz lately? How many news segments have you watched on Bobby Jindal? Or Rand Paul? But if those stories have the name “Donald Trump” in them, well, look who suddenly can’t get enough.

The thing is, I’ve got all of you eating out of my hand and I haven’t even released a single campaign commercial yet. Don’t look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to stick around and see what that looks like, because you and I both know these ads are going to be absolutely incredible. I’ll be standing there projecting my best presidential air, saying “I’m Donald Trump, and I approve this message,” and you won’t be able to take your eyes off it.

You keep obsessing over every little thing I do and say, and I promise you’ll get your commercials real soon.

I can tell you’re practically salivating right now. And I’m going to keep riding this fascination, this little fixation you have with me as far as you’ll take me. You know I will.

And the TV spots are just the beginning. I know you, and I know what you like. You’ll absolutely eat it up when you see the “Trump ’16” T-shirts, the lawn signs, the bumper stickers; in fact, you’ll probably get a real kick out of pointing them out to your friends. Now, just imagine me shaking hands with senior citizens at a nursing home in Iowa. Wouldn’t you love to watch that? Or hear what comes out of my mouth when I speak to blue-collar workers at a struggling auto factory?

You say that doesn’t interest you? Oh, right, because you’re dying to see how Scott Walker behaves in those situations, right? Give me a break.

Just take a moment and imagine the primary debates: Jeb Bush; Chris Christie; me. Of course, they’ll put me in the middle because I’m ahead in the polls—far ahead at the moment. You already know how I answer even the most basic inquiries, so just picture me staring down the barrel of a question about foreign affairs or agriculture policy or something like that. You think you won’t sit there with bated breath while I try to tackle a question about using military force, or about food stamps, or about how my faith influences my decision-making? I guarantee you that my answers will be worth watching. And we both know you wouldn’t miss them for the world. It’d be the biggest, most-watched primary debate in history, courtesy of all of you.

And might I remind you that the longer this goes on, the closer I get to selecting a running mate. That realization kind of delighted you in a way, didn’t it? You absolutely want to know who I’d pick. A defeated GOP challenger who hates my guts? Another lunatic billionaire? Maybe my own son, Donald Trump Jr.? Whatever your wildest expectation is, I promise you I will surpass it. You’re not going to pass up an opportunity to see that, are you?

I can tell you’re practically salivating right now. And I’m going to keep riding this fascination, this little fixation you have with me as far as you’ll take me. You know I will.

So don’t try to tell me you’d be just as happy to watch one of these other bozos go toe-to-toe with Hillary Clinton or give a soaring speech at the national convention. And don’t delude yourself into thinking it’s everyone else who wants to watch me do this and you’re somehow above it. You want to see it. You want more. You hear “Trump” and your attention snaps to the TV screen right away.

Don’t think it’s true? Fine. You know what you have to do to make me go away. Just quit paying attention. Stop reading this right now.

That’s right, I didn’t think so. I have the power to make the next 16 months one of the most incredible times in our nation’s history, and not a single one of you can say you’re not at least a little bit curious to see how this wild ride shakes out. So just keep clicking every link that mentions my name and hitting play on every clip of my public appearances, and I promise you will not be disappointed.

Now, excuse me, but I have to go appear at a New Hampshire town hall and make a statement that every last one of you will be eagerly reading about and discussing in just a few hours’ time.

This weblog has been saying since Trump announced his candidacy he is NOT a serious candidate, that he IS a NARCISSIST,, and now he is brashly telling you in so many word he is playing you as the fool. He is right though about one thing; many of you will HANG on every word and misstatement as though it is the gospel because it will be just what you want to be told. Whether true or not is immaterial to you.


Via: Memeorandum

8 comments:

  1. Even though it's satire from The Onion, one can actually believe Trump would approve of what they wrote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it would be fun to play along with the text of the article.

      There is often much truth in satire and in this instance the article's satire is packed with accurate description of Trump's personality.

      Trump is all about himself ad that is why the article is a perfect description of his character.

      Trump is the best thing that the democrats have going for them. Not that I want HRC in the White House.

      Delete
  2. Hey! The best thing a Democrat can do is support Trump. He is the democratic path to the White House. He is the heart and soul (not sole) of the GOP. Don't let people forget that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well Jerry, I'm not a democrat nor a republican and I won't be supporting Trump. You can take that to the bank.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Donald Trump is FOXenstein's Monster. They have so debased the base, a quarter of Republican voters are supporting this ridiculous idiot. And sure enough the Monster has risen to wreck havoc on their castle. Really, the primer for the rise of Trump goes back to the old Silent Majority strategy from all those years ago now. Trump himself realizes this, though he may be a little lost on the real meaning of the irony, as we all know now it turned out the Silent Majority may be morons but they are not a majority. That doesn't matter to him though. It just so happens those morons like him and watch his crappy TV shows and buy stuff from advertisers on his TV shows and go to his casinos and so forth. It just so happens Trump and the GOP have that base in common, a sign the GOP in it's current form is definitely dying. Trump will easily recoup his losses from this effort, and the louder he goes down the easier the recouping. Roger Ailes will rake in the bucks airing this years Republican Idiotlympics. The GOP is going to have to take a hard look in the mirror.

    JMJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When the GOP looks at itself in a mirror they see nothing.

      Delete
    2. So, Jersey, how long do you think Trump will last in the race?

      Delete
  5. Correction Jerry; when the fringe and the looney look in the mirror they se nothing. Or maybe they see other fringe and loonies.

    Problem is the fringe and loonies are increasingly a larger percentage of the party.

    I've decided to vote for Donald. Donald Duck as a write in candidate. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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